Some thoughts on time, this moment and what we are called to do.
Growing Up The Church
Is church relevant? Can it help us grow to face the personal, societal and ecological challenges that we face?
In his talk at IEC, Ken Wilber argued that religion could be one of the greatest allies of evolution and the transformation of our future. I think many people agree with the potentiality of the church but assessment but are often discouraged by the entrenched dogmatism and complacency of the church.
Wilber argues that many religions, including Christianity got stuck in their development. That they latched on to certainty, power and rules and stopped inviting in Divine mystery and encounter with the Holy. They see themselves as God instead of seeking God as God.
William Sloane Coffin writes,
“Too many Christians seek an all powerful God so that we might be weak when God Himself in Christ became weak that we might be strong. Still others – fundamentalists, for example – longing to be spared the insecurity of uncertainty, engage in what psychiatrists call ‘premature closure.’ They misuse faith as a substitute for thought, when faith, In fact, is what makes good thinking possible.”
In calcifying doctrine and cowering from engagement with life’s wondrous and painful questions, Christianity has shamed its believers away from growth.
Of course this is not always the case, but it is happening on a large scale. It is rare to find a church that is interested in having “grown up” members and in doing the work itself to continue to grow (besides in number). The development of the Church will determine if the church can stay relevant.
Christianity needs to get in touch with its deep roots of wisdom, revelation and sacred service if it is to help us get ready for the next chapters and challenges.
Here are a few ideas about how the church can grow up:
1. Understand that Doubt is a Part of the Faith Journey – Too many Christians and churches shame and exile those who experience doubt. Doubt is not a failure. It is not even the opposite of faith – it is a friend of faith and leads us into new questions and deeper searching.
2. Embrace Uncertainty and Practice Faithful Responsiveness – The Church does not know how everything will unfold. They do not know all the secrets to life. They only know they way to respond to the unfolding. They know that we are supposed to care for one another, speak peace, build community and look for God in the face of the stranger. This will not take away all your anxiety or sell a million books – but it will help equip us to respond to our world in love and compassion as well as enable us to help build the reign of God.
3. Mine the Wisdom of the Past – The Christian Church’s history is full of contemplatives, seekers, mystics, teachers and holy fools. There is so much history that is not taught or discarded. We need to practice our faith and our spiritual ancestors have a lot to teach us.
4. Encourage Holy Encounter – We can be so afraid of our Living God – a God who is still speaking. We try to clamp down on revelation and sacred encounter because it might cause messiness and might empower people to develop their own relationship with the faith that is not tied to whether they are a “good” or “bad” Christian.
5. Love the World and Her Problems – I do not mean love the World and her problems to practice idolatry and schadenfreude. The Church needs to engage with the world and her people and her challenges and avoid from hiding out in the false safety of Heaven. The Church can grow up by being present to the world and her needs just as Jesus told us to do. This will encourage better questions, better response and more encounter with the ways that Jesus shows up in the world – as the other, the stranger and in the blessing of the unexpected.
A monk asked Yun Men, “How is it when the tree withers and the leaves fall?”
Yun Men said, “Body exposed in the golden wind.”
I am writing this after my first full day in my counseling practicum and only two days out from an expanding experience at the Integral European Conference. The conference was a rarified space where I could shed layers of defensiveness, fear and anxiety. I gazed into strangers’ eyes and allowed myself to be fully seen. I risked hard and awkward conversations. I participated in rituals that asked me to put my rational mind aside. I held and was held by people I had just met. My heart opened in a way that felt almost childlike.
This Zen story stood out to me today as I left for my practicum site at a recovery and addiction center. Beginnings are always full of possibility and nervous energy. What will it be like? Am I up to this? Will I like it?
Today I went to my site without my usual defenses that hide my heart from being hurt. My armor and thick skin that I have grown over my heart in the last couple years. I felt naked.
Yes, I felt vulnerable – but more than that – I felt open and receptive. I felt bare to the elements.
However, this did not feel scary – it made me feel alive. It is risky and daring to live without the normal defenses but it also opens us up to magic and love and a story that has not been written yet.
In the Zen Story – “body exposed” sounds terrible but how often do we fear exposure and hide ourselves and protect ourselves from the Golden Wind.
We build defenses to protect ourselves and we end up just building walls that keep encounter with the magic of the world and her people out. We shut ourselves out from love, intimacy and transformation.
The nakedness of living with an open heart and mind feels so risky. What if we get ridiculed? What if we get rejected?
Yet – this naked offering of ourselves is the only way we can ever be truly seen and received for who we are.
While I was at IEC I felt the slow melting of my frozen heart – the ability to let people in and connect with them as an animal, a human and a soul.
I could show up as myself – a rare gift.
This Zen story strangely reminds me of why I love the Christmas story so much. God, as Christ, comes to Earth as a tiny and defenseless baby. Naked, screaming, utterly dependent and guileless.
This is how God comes to us – asking for love, searching for connection, with nothing to give but Godself.
The Christ child comes vulnerable to a world where he is in danger. Yet he comes defenseless and seeking connection.
God comes to us in this vulnerable way and models the utter need we have for one another, the power of presence and the grace of interdependence. Christ continues to practice this receptive posture – open to encounter with Life. He risked everything by being present to all those around him and in doing so found himself naked and on a tree. Yet this same openness and pure Love led him into the golden light of transforming relationship and resurrection.
I know that as I get more into my placement and back into my real life that I will slowly build up these walls. I hope to keep practicing heart opening, and risking being seen with others. I hope to lean toward connectedness and intimacy.
One of the ways that I am doing that more and more is by getting in touch with my Inner Child. The part of me that cannot help but be herself. The part of my that shows up and plays with others in glee and with abandon.
The part of me that does not fear rejection and is irrepressibly daring by just showing up as who she is.
The girl who will reach out for a hand when she wants to connect or dance when she feels like it.
To show up – naked, open and utterly human in the hopes that I too can find myself in the Golden Wind.
Inner Child Practices:
1. Locate your Inner Child (you can locate them at any age that calls to you) and holding out your hand imagine this child in your hands. Talk to them. Ask – What is it that you want for me? What do you need? What gifts do you bring me? Have any discussing that you need to have. Offer them love and protection and compassion. Slowly bring your hands to your heart and accept the child into your heart.
2. Small Group Practice: To get in touch with your inner child: Draw a picture of yourself at 6 with your non-dominant hand. Then take turns telling your small group about the following:
- Your favorite game as a child
- Your favorite place as a child
- An adventure you took as a child.
As your group listens – they can write down one or two words that describe your Inner Child. Then share with your group.
3. With a Partner: If you have a partner or friend who is safe – try this Deep Gazing exercise. To model the unconditional love and attention children need as babies –
Sitting on the floor or a couch – place your head in your partner’s lap. Let them hold your head and pet your hair while gazing at you with nurturing attention and unconditional love. Gaze back at them – feel free to close your eyes and open them for as much of the time as you want. Then switch.
If this is too much – this exercise can be done just holding hands as well.
I realize I am a little late to the game. The Oscars are already long forgotten, but I just watched Arrival this weekend.
I was drawn to it because I had heard about Amy Adams' amazing performance as a linguist who meets an alien race who has mysteriously come to Earth.
Strong female lead? Thoughtful science fiction? Sign me up.
I found the thought-provoking movie I was expecting. What I also found, quite unexpectedly, was to be face to face with a new telling of Virgin Mary and the Annunciation.
This is where I am right on time.
The feast of the Annunciation is celebrated this year (and most years) on March 25th.
To clarify, I am a Protestant - why am I so into The Annunciation?
It is a beautiful tale where God surprises an unlikely woman and draws her into God's plan and God's story.
I think that more people would be caught up in the wonder of this story too if they could get past the word Virgin. We seem to rarely get to the courage and daunting nature of Mary because we want so much to argue over her adjectives.
I fell in love with Mary and her angelic visit through art.
These are some of my favorites.
Annunciation, Fra Angelico, 1438
Henry Tanner, The Annunciation - 1898
What we see here is an encounter. A moment where through interaction, visitation, an unexpected arrival - the world is wholly changed - both for Mary individually and for humanity.
There is a spark in Mary's eyes - a recognition and awe, a great big yes despite hesitance and fear and more unknowns than knowns.
And Mary speaks and she redefines the world:
My soul proclaims the greatness of the Lord, my spirit rejoices in God my Saviour;
he has looked with favour on his lowly servant.
From this day all generations will call me blessed;
the Almighty has done great things for me and holy is his name.
He has mercy on those who fear him,
from generation to generation.
He has shown strength with his arm
and has scattered the proud in their conceit,
Casting down the mighty from their thrones
and lifting up the lowly.
He has filled the hungry with good things
and sent the rich away empty.
He has come to the aid of his servant Israel,
to remember his promise of mercy,
The promise made to our ancestors,
to Abraham and his children for ever
Her words are radical. A single, young woman is the most blessed creature on Earth, the poor are chosen by God, the rich are sent away. Power looks entirely different than what humans have valued.
God serves humanity in mercy and tenderness - God will come as a small child born by a woman with enough heart to encounter God and say yes.
In Arrival - we see the echo and the new chorus of an Annunciation story.
From Arrival
Arrival is not about angels - but it offers a look into the Annunciation that is as fresh as it is faithful.
We see a story of a woman who has an encounter that redefines not only her story but the World's story. In meeting the heptopods - the world is flipped upside down (literally in this case). Dr. Louise Banks has the bravery and courage to take off her gear and press her hand up against the barrier to reach out to the strangers who have come into her life. She does not know whether they bring blessing or violence or a little of both - but she still says yes to the power and possibility of the moment.
In realizing the gift that they bring - a gift so many fear and see as a weapon - she understands that there is no forward or backward in time. She can see the future.
The system by which we live our life - time and aging and the forward progress of time - is undone in her own speech and action.
The visitors and the encounter and hospitality of the stranger opens up a new World. For Mary - the social order was flipped. However, the argument could be made that Mary's Magnificat is also a vision of our Future - the Kingdom of God - glimpsed in her encounter but to be more fully seen later.
Louise also has her own magnificat of sorts as she speaks peace to a world hungry for and quaking with war. She chooses hospitality over hostility.
Salvation comes from embrace and the move toward understanding.
The parallels continue as we realize that the way the movie opens - the pieta of a daughter and mother in the hospital is not the past but the future.
She chooses her future - knowing it will bring her pain. She chooses a child knowing that child will die.
Here are the major parallels:
1. Encounter is What Changes Us: In Arrival, Louise says there are days, "that define your story." These are the moments where you are thrown out of what you thought life would look like and stand face to face with an unexpected messenger of your destiny. God works in the unexpected, grace is a gift given often out of the blue, the ordinary turns transcendent in one moment. Encounter with the stranger is a door to the Divine. The world and all that you knew is able to be turned upside down - this is divine imagination and a reminder that our lives are wholly and holy adventure. '
2. Divine Encounter Flips The World On Its Head (Or Knocks Us on Our...):
Annunciation is the moment where you have the heart and brave foolishness to take off your gear or take off you societal role and claim a new reality and future. It is an acknowledgement that once you have seen a new face of God - you are changed and you are living into your new story.
3. Saying Yes to Your Story (Even Though Afraid) Is Hard and Hopeful Work
In both these Annunciation stories - fear and trembling and it's flip side of awe and allure - are part of the story. Annunciation is speaking with voice trembling and feet unsteady. it is about feeling and co-creating your way onto a new path. It is the fledgling work of conception and creation - a small seed of hope that holds great possibility. Fear is part of the journey, and pain and doubt - but so is being game anyway.
4. Imagination, Wonder and Curiosity are Connectors:
It is the imagination and awe that connect us to one another. Louise is slowly enchanted by the mystery of the Heptopods and is drawn to them through curious engagement and not desire for domination. Maybe this is seen as naive - maybe that is the key to who changing encounter comes to - those who might have the sense of wonder to be changed. Understanding takes persistent engagement, vulnerability and intimacy. This is the lure of Mystery. Both Mary and Louise have the ability to risk their very selves and their solid future because they are enchanted and curious - because they possess the compassionate curiosity that draws them into Divine imagination.
5. Love Is Worth It - As Louise says at the end of Arrival,
"Despite knowing the journey... and where it leads... I embrace it... and I welcome every moment of it."
Both Louise and Mary say yes to the their task even knowing that there is the the pain and loss and heartbreak included. They both will hold their children as they die.
They choose this path anyway because of the love that it will also give them. They look at their futures wide eyed and with clarity and say yes anyway. They see the tears as worth the joy. They see brokenness as part of the story - not something to safely avoid. They are acting out of their agency to accept the light and shadows in the gift of love.
I realize that Arrival is not an overtly religious movie and there are many places where drawing too much of a parallel takes us into dangerous territory. Yet, there is something valuable and necessary about seeing our old and ancient stories in the art of today. We are often too caught up in defining things as religious or not, as Catholic or Protestant, as Red or Blue or even as Virgin or Whore - that we miss the magic that happens in the meeting and in the middle.
The Annunciation is the day to live into the imagination of God and say yes even though we cannot define it, or fully know it.
The yes does not mean everything will be all right or easy.
The yes is a way into the joy and tears of full life - hard fought and the simple gift of experience and risking
It is hopeful work and it is holy work.
I have become bored with being good
nice exhausted me
pretty withers and wrenches and wore me out
I tried to find solace in ambition and productivity
Their price was too high
starched and starving
I crave new ways to wake up in this world
Peeling off
feels raw and decadent
naked naked naked
with vulnerable ease
trembling in discovery
that perhaps
I am the new word.
"
"One of the great joys of wine is picking the wrong bottle and having it turn out even better than the right one. The surprise, the unexpected, the serendipity, the new experience—these for me are among the most euphoric moments wine can provide."
― Eric Asimov from "How to Love Wine: A Memoir and Manifesto"
I have no idea how to eat.
Maybe I was born knowing - but I remember being so young when I forgot. Instead a mix of secret eating, fast eating, eating without tasting and not eating make up the last twenty years of my life.
I have tried to learn how to eat well.
I have tried to learn how to eat perfectly.
I have tried to learn how to eat clean.
I have tried to learn how to eat structured.
I have tried to learn how to eat less.
In my life -food was to be feared and managed. Food had control of me, my worth, my attractiveness (and thus my value) and my sense of whether or not I was doing well or not.
Oh sometimes it could be delicious - but that was always served with a side of guilt.
Isabel Foxen Duke, the amazing eating coach, writes in a piece called How Not To Eat Chocolate Cake.:
“Let yourself have chocolate cake, and sit the f*** down. Enjoy, savor and for God’s sake,
CHEW! If I were you, not only would I sit my ass in a chair but I would put that warm, chewy,
chocolate goodness on a really attractive dish and maybe garnish it with some berries, or
whipped cream like it was the QUEEN of all the cakes in the land. Why would you waste such a
treat eating so fast you barely remember it happened? ”
I thought this type of eating was only for the super skinny, the super disciplined or just those better than me.
I would watch Top Chef and Cupcake Wars and dream about enjoying food the way people on the shows could. My envy tinged with a bitterness that wondered how they didn't understand that food - like weight - was about management and not enjoyment.
There is no room for surprise in management. There is no room for desire or connection. Everything is tinged in shades of shame.
Things are changing. Therapy helps. The hard work of remembering every day that I want to be friends with food helps. Resilience helps.
But more than anything - tasting helps.
Many people make the jump from food to wine - but in tasting wine - I am finding my way back to food.
Tasting is adventurous and conversational.
The question is not whether or not something is good or bad. Those words don't apply.
It encourages curiosity and not judgement. It asks you to look at this one thing - this sip or this bite and ignore every other bite you have had or the larger ideas of FOOD and WINE.
Tasting asks
what is happening here? What do you find? How do you feel?
Tasting asks you to listen and converse with this one thing - made and created, living and fleeting.
This bite is different than the next. This wine in this one vintage won't taste the same next year. There is something precious and special and true about this if you take the time to taste it.
Tasting is about your experience, your interaction with the wine or with the meal. You are invited to participate in something else - in the work of other's and the magic of the year that brought these ingredients.
Good and bad have no dominion here. We are not even judging or rating - we are just exploring.
It is an embodied experience - one of sensory pleasure and engagement. Smelling, tasting, savoring, remembering the flavors, imagining the land it comes from.
It is not scanning the menu for the one taste you like or finding the one thing on the menu with the least amount of calories.
It is not staying entrenched in panic as you chomp guiltily.
It is letting yourself be led by pleasure and adventure and the joy that comes with letting things be interesting.
As I write this - I am eating an egg, avocado and sprout sandwich that I would have doused in hot sauce or salsa or even ketchup before - just to have one taste I like. I don't want to make the food easier anymore. I want to meet it on it's own terms and experience it.
It is vegetal and seedy. It tastes earthy and there is not one touch of sweetness.
It is telling me something and I trust myself to listen.
This is the next level - feeding curiosity. Savoring the differences, the dissapointments and the delights that each plate and glass can offer. Coming to the table as a willing participant in the magic of a meal. Giving myself permission for pleasure and complexity in this trickier and multi-terrained life.
This is my hope :
Sip by sip and bite by bite - I want to taste what this world and our creativity have to offer with the full knowledge that this journey is my adventure, my sustenance and my delight.
The streetlights bounce red
The roots howl
I've heard the wind changes things: new energy, another life.
Restlessness ran aground here
years ago
How big can the wind get?
Or
How small can a new life be?
Do you remember when we wanted our teeth to fall out?
Twisting them in our hands
breaking strings
wanting the gap.
When did we stop expecting new bones?
In this series - I will be going through the Tarot and providing yoga postures, essential oils, poetry and practices for each card - I hope to eventually include reversals as well.
The idea behind this is to create a healing deck that will help you engage Tarot in new ways and help your self care and healing practice.
Our first Tarot card is the one that brings me the most delight: The Star.
It is the symbol of aquarius and it is my favorite number 17.
Check out Biddy Tarot for amazing explanations:
“The Star Tarot card brings renewed hope and faith and a sense that you are truly blessed by the Universe at this time. Courage, fulfilment, and inspiration are in your life. You are entering a loving phase in your life, filled with calm energy, mental stability and deeper understanding of both yourself and others around you. This card is saying to you that, over the long-term, you should have faith and trust in the Universe. A better future is waiting for you but in order to reach it you must trust that it is indeed possible.
As it follows the Tower, the meaning of the Star Tarot card suggests that you have endured life’s challenges and have been through a difficult time but you are now open to healing and transformation.”
Yoga Postures:
5 Point Star - Possible variation of reaching hands up toward the sky and taking a slight backbend
Fallen Star - In this posture you are rooted on the Earth and reaching for the sky - you become the bridge between the two worlds.
Camel - This is a posture of great generosity and rooting into the earth and opening your heart to abundance
Waterfall pose - This inversion is one of healing and gentleness that comes with The Star - the light that shines down over the water - the trials of the tower reimagined into a waterfall - surrender and shine.
Essential Oil: Frankinsence - this holy oil is one of glow and balance - helping balance the water and air energies, Bergamot - an oil that is so healing in the transformation of grief to joy, Clary Sage - an oil that encourages fertility and abundant energy and Ylang Ylang - a bright and balancing oil
Poem:
I am the child of the universe.
She puts her almighty protection around me.
I am free from accidents, death, sickness.
I am now shining with golden light from top to toe.
I am her chosen protected child, and she is my shield.
The winds shall aid my progress.
Water shall cleanse me from fear,
Fire will purify my doubts.
And the earth shall nourish me to health.
All is well, all is well, all is well.
Zsuzsanna E. Budapest
Practices:
Glow
Light Candles
Seek Out Water - Light Candles and Take a Bath
Practice Yoga For Someone Else
Give Generously
Practice Gratitude
There is a woman who comes into the wine shop to buy sparkling wine every week. THis isn't that strange - but the thing is - she only drinks sparkling wine.
She is a doctor and a mother and she says that life is too short to drink anything else.
People are afraid of the bubbly for some reason. Unless it is New Years - a lot of people don't approach that shelf. They think that sparkling is too much hassle, or they know they won't open them or they think that it has to be a celebration for them to pop a bottle.
I understand this.
We are quick to consume and achieve and produce - we crave entertainment but we fear decadence.
The sub-title of this blog is "A Lush Life" because this is one of my fears that I want to face - the fear of savoring this rich, decadent, abundant life. Maybe that seems crazy - but I think it makes sense to many of us - for who am I if I am not stressed or too busy or not always working? What will happen if someone notices that I am not being productive even in my free time?
Yesterday I went to yoga and cooked a vegan dinner. Before you congratulate me for being "good" - I went to yoga because it is a magical space where I feel like I am dancing and the hot room feels good in the cold weather. I cooked vegan because I was hosting a vegan friend.
I don't play the trying to be good game anymore. 2017 is the year I quit the game.
Good is a trap. Goodness is the real thing. That is what beauty is, what grace is, what this life is full of. I am good because I live among this goodness. I am good because I was born into this goodness because it is born inside of me.
Good has nothing to do with a number on a fitbit or a scale or any other metric. I cannot hack good. I can surrender to the goodness around and within me. I can cultivate and care for goodness and grow it but I can't force it or produce it or fake it.
In yoga I sat next to a woman who had just come from a bootcamp class and was trying to burn as many calories as possible. I cringe every time a teacher or student mentions how this practice makes it OK for us to be "bad" and get a margarita.
I get a margarita because I like it. I go to yoga because it brings me pleasure.
It has taken me 30 years to realize that it is OK not to go running even if that is the most efficient exercise.
That my life was built for abundance and not efficiency.
That it is OK to move from a place of love and desire instead of guilt and striving.
This is the year that I embrace the simple pleasures and the rambunctious hedonism of living from desire. Moving how I want, eating what I want, tasting what I want and drinking more sparkling because I like it.
There is magic all around us and I am sick to death of being too busy or important to see it.
I have too many things to savor and enjoy.
Each moment is the work and wonder of living - there is no test later that we have to run ourselves ragged studying for.
This year I am giving myself the space and permission to live in a way that shows I believe this.
This year but more importantly this moment - I am living drenched in the magic and goodness that abounds.
Last night - we had some friends over and there was a lot of wine. So - clearly it was a good party.
I wanted to do some quick takes on the wine, tasting notes and reviews.
Wine always tastes better with friends but some of these wines were really special and the company just made them that much better.
The reviews are from left to right in the picture.
1. Olga Raffault Les Picasse Chinon:
This Cab Franc from Touraine in the Loire came with a demonstration on how to pour a bottle with sediment in it. The wine itself had notes of green olive and this salty and savory weight to it that was delicious. Incredibly unique and a conversation piece. 4.5/5
2. Biutiful Cava Brut
OK. So this guy was drunk a little before the party and I bought it - so I don't mind giving it a so-so review. It is bubbles and I like bubbles - but it has that candy almost plastic apple nose and taste. I wouldn't go for this one again. 2.5/5
3. Vino di Anna - Vino Rosso 2015
The grape on this Sicillian wine is Nerello Mascalese. This wine was such a surprise - it is made with indigenous yeast and an attitude that allows the year to show up in the bottle. A wild turn from 2014's vintage - this is bright and light and almost fizzy - pixie sticks and cherry spree. 4/5
4. Tattinger Brut La Francaise
It's Tattinger - a perfect balance of toast and fresh - and it is in a magnum - no complaints here. 4/5
5. Foradori Morei Teroldego 2014
This biodynamic wine from Alto Adige is made from the Teroldego grape. This wine is lush with silky tannins and gushes with cherry and berry flavor. Wonderful. 4/5
6. Roland Lavantureux Petit Chablis 2014
This wine is not what you might expect. It is bold and almost tropical - with citrus but also notes of pineapple. Delightful and surprising. 4/5
I didn't actually taste the desert wine yet...coming soon!
What are some of your favorite party wines?
My first wine review!
Sleep is an elusive dragon - especially when I was so excited to write this that I even dreamt about wine (mostly moving boxes - typical wine shop stress dream).
So brought to you by coffee, insomnia and good old fashioned excitement...
Kenwood Six Ridges Cabernet Sauvignon - 2012
Producer: Kenwood Vineyards
Region: Alexander Valley
Grapes: 95% Cabernet Sauvignon and 5% Merlot
Alcohol: 14.5%
On The Nose: Vanilla, Baking Spices, Oak, Crushed Raspberries, Cassis
Tasting Notes: Vanilla, Dark Cherry, Blackcurrant, Cinnamon, Smoke and Leather. Medium Plus Tannin and Medium Plus/High Alcohol
Thoughts: It is wonderful to drink wine from a place you have been. I was able to visit Kenwood this Summer with friends and I really enjoyed myself. Their staff and wines are great, This wine needs some time to breathe. Off the bat - it was tannin and oak city but after letting it open up - the fruit and the terroir emerge from the glass. However - the overwhelming nature of the oak made it hard to really enjoy the wine.
What Does Alexander Valley Taste Like?
The Alexander Valley is in NE Sonoma County. Alexander Valley Reds are known for their ripeness and richness. With 2012 being a drought year - this ripe to bursting flavor is big in this big wine. Alexander Valley's taste profile shine through in the smokey and leathery notes in this wine.
Pairing: This wine would work perfectly with brisket, Texas BBQ, and burgers or steaks on the grill.
Rating: 3/5
Check out more here for more information on the wine and Kenwood Vineyards.
Thanks for Reading! Have you tried this wine - or any other Alexander Valley Cab?
Photo by AlbertoLoyo/iStock / Getty Images
It's New Years - this time of year can be tricky for anyone in eating disorder recovery. This time of the year much like the nebulous "bikini body season" is a time where people are encouraged to
- talk shit about their bodies
- talk about all the toxic foods they are no longer eating
- pretend that if they are going to lose weight - this means everyone wants to.
As a person who is actively NOT dieting (hopefully ever again) - this is a fraught time. So this is my project. I am going to eat this year and with gusto.
I am going to drink and explore the world glass by glass.
I have no idea what kind of project this will be or what shape it will take or if anyone will read this. I am doing this because I am about to be thirty and I can't keep waiting any longer. Waiting until I am thin enough or pretty enough or perfect enough to be allowed to enjoy my body and my life.
I have been in recovery from my eating disorder for a while and I am in an amazing and hopeful place. I heard from a mentor once that you often need something to take the place of your obsession - that once you can refrain from behaviors - you don't truly heal until you love something more than the disorder and the obsession.
It has been thirteen years in my self destructive love affair. That is horrible to admit. But it is true.
As a part of my recovery - I decided to lay my eating disorder at the feet of Jesus...well I wanted to do something dramatic and significant. I decided to walk the Camino De Santiago alone to symbolically give up the disorder and the dieting and the obsession once and for all (again after a lot of therapy and work). I thought that it would be a time of religious discernment and that I would see the next step clearly after.
Well God in her minxy way - showed me a next step but it wasn't one I planned on. In Spain - I found myself in love with wine. We would walk through wine country and vineyards by day and at night we would taste the most amazing wine - made often by the families of the barkeeps.
For the first time - wine wasn't alcohol or calories - it was a living thing grown from specific earth by specific people. It was tradition and geography and an amazing story.
I learned how to savor and taste and enjoy without guilt. That's not even right - the absence of guilt is important - but the sensory pleasure of enjoying what was there was beguiling.
I have found myself in love. With wine. With my body that allows me to taste and discover and explore.
So 2017 is about living fully. I hope to use this blog to write about wine and it's traditions and cultures as well as delve into embodiment, body diversity and body positivity.
This space is about claiming space fearlessly and living a lush and big life.
Here is to a year with my heart, my belly and my glass all full!